I think we all would agree that we tend to spend a lot of time either reflecting upon the past or looking ahead to the future. How many people are fully immersed in the present? I have to imagine most people are not.
None of us know what will happen in the future. We have no clue. There is nothing wrong with trying to picture your life in the future, and there’s nothing wrong with dreaming. I’m a dreamer. I’m a fan of dreamers. On the opposite side, none of us can change the past. It’s done, it’s over. What happened, happened. You can learn from your past, but obsessing over it is pointless. You can’t change it. The only thing you can control is what is happening right now. The choices you make today will shape your future. The life you live now will lead to your future. Pay attention to what you’re doing right now.
Last weekend, I got to see one of my brothers for the first time in almost two years. It was great to catch up with him, yet it was cool to see how little has changed over the past couple of years. My life is completely different now (so is his), yet it felt like nothing had changed when we started to catch up.
As I’m sure most people do, I tend to run through a ton of “What if…?” scenarios in my head. I think about what my life would have been like if I hadn’t moved away from my hometown. I think about what it would be like to move back. I think about what I’m doing right now, and where my life is heading.
I am absolutely 100% convinced that leaving my hometown was the smartest decision I’ve ever made. It just was. I have learned more about myself, about life in general, and about my family and friends since I moved than I ever could have learned if I hadn’t moved away. I really couldn’t be happier that I left home. A lot of people from back home read my blog. A lot of people get upset when I talk about being happy that I left. A lot of others understand it. I sincerely hope that those who get upset will learn someday why I’m happy I left. I could write about it a million times, but they wouldn’t understand it until they experienced it for themselves.
If I hadn’t left home, nothing would have changed for me. I would have kept telling myself that I was happy, as my life continued to nose dive. I had fun back home. I probably had too much fun. But, I was on a path that led to nothing. I had no future in the direction I was headed. It was just a matter of time before I hit a dead end. Luckily, I got out before I hit that point.
After I moved, I kept asking myself what I thought would have happened if I hadn’t left. I also kept wondering what would happen if I stayed here a while, then went back home. I think I know a bunch of the answers I was looking for, but you really never know what might happen. I’m happy with where I am now in life. Every day, something seems to happen to push me another step or two closer to what I want to ultimately accomplish. I’m nowhere close to where I want to be in life, but I’m getting closer every day. That is exciting to me. Yet, I can’t help but wonder what would happen if I suddenly had to go back home.
I try not to think about this much and haven’t told many people, but, on numerous occasions, I have been within days of moving back home. I have searched for jobs and apartments back home and started packing to leave. It wasn’t by choice, it was just what I thought my only option was at the time. But, every time, something has come up out of nowhere and changed things for me. I’m a big believer in fate. I believe I am where I’m supposed to be right now. Things aren’t perfect for me right now, but I’m on the right path.
If I moved back home tomorrow, I am pretty convinced I would have a job, a place to live, and a possibly girlfriend within a few weeks. The scenario I’ve created in my head makes going back to my comfort zone seem pretty enticing. Staying here and continuing on my current path, I know I have a home, I know I have a job, and I know there is potential for other things to fall into place as I have always hoped. I know that my life can and will get better than it is right now, but I have to say… I can’t really complain much right now. I have a lot of problems on my mind every single day. I have a lot that I need to work on. I have a long road ahead of me to get to where I can totally feel comfortable, but I also know that I’m in a MUCH better situation than many people.
Three game changers that I hear people talk about frequently are: job security, financial stability, and a loving and supportive significant other. I have one of those three things covered. As long as people are playing golf, I am confident that I will have a job. Golf is a challenging, frustrating game. As long as people continue to play it, people will need someone to teach them how to play it to the best of their ability. I don’t mean to brag, but I am damn good at teaching golf. I’m not the best, but I’m getting better every day. I’m constantly learning, and I am very good at what I do. I know I am. I’m not bragging, I’m just confident in my ability. The downfall in my current situation is that I only make money when people book lessons or classes with me. I’m not guaranteed a paycheck ever. I love doing what I do, but making money is a challenge. Things will work out eventually. Also, I know I will end up with that special someone in my life when the time is right. There is someone I met years ago who I know could make my life a million times better than it already is, but we live 1,500 miles apart. If she reads this, she maybe knows I’m talking about her. I can drop hints and hope all I want, but it probably doesn’t make a whole lot of sense to tell her how I feel about her or ask if she has any significant interest in me when we are on opposite sides of the country. Whether we remain just friends or become something more at some point in the future, I’m just happy and thankful to know that she is in my life. Whatever happens is what is supposed to happen.
Last weekend when I got to hang out with my brother and catch up reminded me that I’m on the right path in life. In a way, I got a bit of an outside view of what my lifestyle used to be like. I realized that I just can’t live that lifestyle anymore. It was great for a while, but it’s not for me anymore. I’ve outgrown it. I could never be truly happy back home again. I have a new home now. I love it. I never hesitate to tell people where I came from, but when people ask where home is, I tell them where I live now.
I may not know where my future will lead, but I know that my past is best left in the past. My present is right where I belong. I’m on the right path in life, and that’s great to know. I am who I am because of where I was and what I’ve done. Who I am now will lead to who I will become. Through all of it, the only thing I can control is what I do right now. I feel like I was a pretty good person earlier in my life, but I know I’m a better person now. The person I am now will lead me on the path to becoming an even better person in the future. If you want to improve your future, focus on right now.