Over the past week, I have noticed a major change in myself. It’s a familiar feeling, yet it feels new. It’s a feeling I have felt before, yet my life has changed so much over the past couple of years that, as familiar as it is, it’s different this time.
I have learned over the past couple of years to take responsibility for my own happiness. In the past, the majority of the time, I allowed the people around me to affect my level of happiness in nearly every situation. The good times were really great, but the bad times were completely depressing. I ended up being a complete mess on numerous occasions.
As imperfect as my life is right now, I have learned to be happy with myself. I do the things I love to do, and I am incredibly picky about the people I allow to be a part of my life now. The quantity of people in my life doesn’t matter to me anymore, it’s all about quality. I feel very blessed that the people who are special to me are such an important part of my life. I used to stop and read everything that was on my news feed on Facebook. Now, I find myself ignoring the majority of it. If that offends anybody, I’m sorry, but it’s the truth. If you are somebody who complains constantly about how much your life sucks or how unfair things are, I don’t pay attention to you. I’ve dealt with enough crap in my own life over the past couple of years, and I don’t need anyone else’s negativity dragging me down. If your life is that bad, then change it. It may not be easy, but you CAN change it. If you choose to not improve your life, then you have no one to blame but yourself.
This past week was the first time in six months that I have had a chance to see some familiar faces from back home. Getting to create new memories was a lot of fun. I can’t begin to put into words how happy it made me. But, it also brought back old memories… memories that made me smile. I’ve been smiling a lot lately. Those memories didn’t make me smile just because they were great memories, they made me smile because of who made those memories great. Surrounding yourself with truly special, amazing people will do nothing but great things for the quality and enjoyment of your life. As great as certain experiences in life may be by themselves, experiencing those things with the right person(s) will always make those memories extra special.
I feel like certain people in my life who are really special to me may not know just how big of an impact they have on my life or how much I think about them. Some people might be surprised. Although we do keep in touch fairly often, I haven’t seen some of them in over two years. I try to tell those people, or to show them in some way, how much they mean to me, but I need to keep doing better. One of my greatest fears in life is leaving this world without telling the people who mean the most to me exactly how special they are. They inspire and motivate me to be a better person every day. I think about them a lot. Yet, living 1,500 miles apart, they probably don’t have a clue that I think so highly of them.
Right now, I feel the happiest I have felt in the entire time I have lived in Florida. The reason it feels different this time is because I’m no longer dependent on others to make me happy. I am happy with myself, and the people who are important to me just add to that happiness. I feel very relaxed right now… very comfortable. I don’t remember the last time I have honestly been able to say that. I feel like I am starting to get to a point in my life where there is potential for great things to happen. Sometimes you have to survive the storm before you can enjoy the warm sunshine.
Anyone who knows me at all knows that I’m a dreamer. The potential for my future is starting to take over my thoughts right now. I’ve spent the past 2 years trying to figure out who I really am and what I want out of life. I now know who I am. I know what I want. I no longer feel like it’s just some crazy dream. I feel like it is very realistic, and may not be too far away from starting to fall into place. Everything in life seems to fall into place when and how it’s supposed to happen, not necessarily when or how you want it to happen. Things seem to work out in ways you would never expect.
Every year, I take some time at the end of the year to look back and reflect upon everything that has happened in my life throughout that year. I will write a post about that sometime in the next few weeks. This year is different from any previous year in my life. The things that have started to fall into place for me this year give me hope. My newfound love, respect, and appreciation for myself (my TRUE self), and the support of the incredible people that I am fortunate to have in my life makes me feel confident that the life I have always hoped for could be just around the corner for me. There are still several pieces of the puzzle that need to fall into place, but it feels closer now than ever before. When you’re reminded that you have the support of the people who mean the most to you, that is a great boost of confidence.
This past week has felt like a bunch of much needed baby steps in the right direction. It has been the nudge in the right direction that I have been needing for a while. Hopefully these baby steps will soon lead to bigger steps, and then, eventually, giant leaps in the right direction. I’m an extremely patient person, but I’m 32 years old. It’s time to get my life to the point I hoped it would be at nearly 10 years ago. I wasn’t ready for it back then. The things I’ve spent my life searching for have been within me all along. I just needed to find them. Once you learn to love yourself, you will start loving life. Then, and only then, can you truly start to love and fully appreciate others. The end result is true happiness. There’s nothing quite like the feeling of happiness.
Thank you all so much for reading!! If you enjoyed this, please like, comment, and follow me on this journey of Positively Rolling Through Life. I am proud to say that the other night my blog reached a milestone… 1,000 views!! When I started this blog, I figured maybe a few of my friends might read my posts. The fact that people around the world have been reading and subscribing blows my mind! If my words are able to have a positive impact on even one person somewhere in this world, then I feel like I am doing something that is worthwhile. Thank you again for taking the time to read my blog! 😀