I won’t go into too many specific details today (maybe at some point), but I really feel it’s a miracle that I’m still alive right now. I can’t even begin to count the number of times somebody has told me that I’m lucky to be alive. And, you know… I can’t say that they’re wrong.
I am only 32 years old, but I have put my body through things that most people would never think of. I am damn proud of the fact that I have always proved people wrong. Whenever someone has told me that I can’t do something, my attitude has always been, “Oh yeah? Watch me!!” My proudest moments in life have included proving people wrong. However, there are times that I may have survived just because I’m so young.
I spent years traveling with a band. Not just a band, a party band. It was not uncommon at that time in my life for me to drink a liter of whiskey in a night. It was just the lifestyle. You put on a show for people, and then you move on to the next city. It’s what you do.
For a few years, that lifestyle became who I was. You are expected to be fun all the time when you visit people in a city that you haven’t visited in months. Eventually, you start to think that you need to be that “fun” person all the time. It becomes who you are. It became my life for sure. My life changed for other reasons, but I know that I couldn’t have kept up that lifestyle for much longer. I made a change in my life, and moved on to a healthier life. My old habits still come back to me. I won’t lie and say I’m a totally changed person. But, I have transitioned from a life where I drank a liter of whiskey, to a life where I drink a 6 pack of beer… and then I need to find my bed. I still have a ways to go to catch up with “normal” people, but I’m getting there.
I lived the party lifestyle, but I never took it to extremes. That just wasn’t me. I never did drugs, other than caffeine and alcohol. I wasn’t the guy who brought women back to my hotel room. That’s not the kind of guy I am. I would have fun in a bar, and then end my night. I can’t imagine being the “rock star” that we all see/hear about on TV. It’s scary for me to hear or think about stories of nights when I was carried into a hotel room. It happened. I drank until I blacked out and was carried into my hotel room. I tried hard to remember shows and remember experiences in certain cities, but there are nights that I don’t remember much at all. Once again, it’s the way it was. My go-to saying was “Add me on Facebook”. That was the only way I could remember anyone’s name. I wish I could remember everyone I met, but that just wasn’t going to happen for me.
Looking back at all of the stupid things I’ve done, it’s seriously amazing that I am still alive today. I have partied until sunrise more times than I care to mention. I remember very clearly partying with a good friend, and asking another friend, “What are you doing up already?” Their answer was, “Um, it’s morning…”
I’m sure most of us have put ourselves through things that we shouldn’t have. I still have a bunch of problems in my life, but I am pretty proud of the fact that I made it through my old lifestyle in pretty good shape. There are still nights that I wake up screaming, because I don’t feel the band van moving… I think we crashed into the ditch, and then I realize that I am safely in my own bed. Trust me, it’s happened before. It’s a nightmare that happened in the past. I woke up in the band van in the ditch. I still have nightmares about it. We never had anything serious happen to us. Others weren’t so lucky. I have never forgotten that. I learned years ago to not forget to be thankful for today. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. You may not wake up tomorrow, so enjoy today!! Live every day like it’s your last, because it might be. You never know. You have no idea.